Going through all tickets for reports. Here's a great one from 2008!

Last month Burger King in Japan had a deal you could add 15 slices of bacon for an additional ¥100. This guy added 1050 slices. If you scroll down the site page, you can see a vid. http://rocketnews24.com/2012/04/18/204325/

I bought these on sale. I was so happy. US$9.26 at today’s exchange rate. Normally about $12.50. Three Bean Salad, baby, minus the Pork and Beans. I wanted to buy a can of green beans but they didn’t have any. I thought about buying fresh green beans but they wanted $3.25 for about 10. It’s wacked to here. You can find a similar pack of fresh green beans however at local vegetable shops for about $1.25 or ¥100.

Going back to Hokkaido after 10 years. We will miss you.

Mahadev: "I only asked to turn in the homework."

Kristine: "I didn't give an extension."

Allan: "I asked the staff to submit tickets for support."

 

This is our new Aerohive AP. We upgraded to enterprise grade wireless last week after using the consumer grade Apple APs since 2005. The Apple APs were rock solid like a VW bug, but this baby is nice, and no comparison. No controller hardware; it's in the AP. Web-based management with friendly, easy-to-use controls. Thumbs up! http://www.aerohive.com/

Mahadev and I fashioning our recent rotator cuff and achilles surgeries.

Alec pitched 6 scoreless innings before being relieved in the 7th.

Thanks - from Elizabeth.

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. 

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,  "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 

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My wife and I were watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

 

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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

 

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes," she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

 

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed but somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

 

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My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started. 

 

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Saturday  morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

 

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

 

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. 

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed the application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. 

She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."

 

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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

 

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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a really bad day.

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf.

He looked up at me and said 'I am not Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'